


u online tonight?

by sparklegiraffe



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Muggle, F/M, M/M, Texting, Well - Freeform, heavily based on a mid-2000s british teen experience, msn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:41:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23400277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparklegiraffe/pseuds/sparklegiraffe
Summary: James Potter has three things on his mind; football, getting one up on Snape, and the new girl. Shame the new girl doesn’t care. And his friends are far more interested in whatever rubbish is going on in their own lives than helping him get Lily to go to McDonalds with him, or, honestly, even just helping him get her MSN addy.Or - the Marauders and Lily as mid-2000s British teens. Text-Fic inc lots of MSN convos between our heroes.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Mary Macdonald/Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 9
Kudos: 25





	1. Chapter 1

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

who saw the new girl today??

☾ x-x remus lupin x-x ☾

that is not the important thing here peter. who has todays maths homework?

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~so long and goodnight~**

it so is  
spill pete  
wud she go out with me?

**☾ x-x remus lupin x-x ☾**

no.  
not if she has any sense.

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~so long and goodnight~**

moony u r an arse

**☾ x-x remus lupin x-x ☾**

peter, do you have today’s maths homework?

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

no soz moony  
ask prongs  
no wait he was with u

**☾ x-x remus lupin x-x ☾**

sirius please tell me you have it.

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~so long and goodnight~**

i hav a nice arse  
u r an arse

**☾ x-x remus lupin x-x ☾**

yes thanks sirius.  
when I fail my GCSEs I’m blaming all of you.

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

on this occasion its probably not fair 2 blame prongs

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~so long and goodnight~**

its always fair 2 blame prongs  
i do it all the time  
that, and blame prongs

**☾ x-x remus lupin x-x ☾**

sirius, please.  
anyway, g2g, some of us have coursework.

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~so long and goodnight~**

we all av corusewuk  
just u r the only fucker dat cares  
geek  
nerd  
borning

**☾ x-x remus lupin x-x ☾**

excellent human being with ability to spell simple words in the English language.

**[Sirius Black is the most xellnt person ever] is now online**

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~so long and goodnight~**

u cnt go now moony prongs is ere  
we need to tell him abt new gurl

**[Sirius Black us the most xellnt person ever]**

what new girl?  
tell tell tell  
SIRIUS U R AN ABSOLUTE FUCKER AND I HATE U FOREVER

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

in padfoots defence we've told u about leaving your msn logged in at his

**☾ x-x remus lupin x-x ☾**

and that generally as a human being he is not to be trusted.

**[James Potter]**

in my defence he’s a dick

**☾ x-x remus lupin x-x ☾**

that too.

**[James Potter]**

so. new girl  
would she go out with me?

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

why was that the first thing both u and pads asked?

**☾ x-x remus lupin x-x ☾**

not everyone is lucky enough to be in an established relationship, wormtail.

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

ur not either

**[James Potter]**

get 2 the point dickwads

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~so long and goodnight~**

wat poo=int?

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

sorry brb

**[James Potter]**

pete you arsehole come right back here now u cant leave us on that

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~so long and goodnight~**

oh yeh dat

**☾ x-x remus lupin x-x ☾**

you have the worst attention span Sirius.

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~so long and goodnight~**

at least i hav a hot bdy

**☾ x-x remus lupin x-x ☾**

I question why I’m friends with you.

**[James Potter]**

ive been askin that for yrs

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

bk  
i don’t know why i’m friends with sirius either

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~so long and goodnight~**

u all luv me  
n my hot bdy

**☾ x-x remus lupin x-x ☾**

we don’t.

**[James Potter]**

i know i’m friends with pete because our mums made us be friends with each other in reception  
and remus is my brain  
but i dunno why i’m friends with sirius

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

luv u 2 james

**[James Potter]**

luv u too pete

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~so long and goodnight~**

wht about meeeeeeeeeeee?????/???/??????????

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

what about u?  
sirius why?

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~so long and goodnight~**

i h8 u all

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~so long and goodnight~ may not reply because he appears to be offline**

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

excellent  
we have got rid of him  
even tho we no he is just pretending to be offline to make us miss him  
which we don’t  
now we can talk about how the new girl is far more likely to fancy prongs.

**[James Potter]**

pete have i ever told u ur the best

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

u can always tell me again

**[James Potter]**

and how much sirius sucks

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

he rly does

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~so long and goodnight~**

i h8 u all

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

told u he was still here  
and also u said that

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~so long and goodnight~ is online**

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~so long and goodnight~ [looking for new friends] may not reply because he appears to be offline**

**[James Potter]**

u no i appreciate your dedication to flouncing sirius  
u appeared online just to appear offline again  
cool

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~so long and goodnight~ [looking for new friends]**

i m still here u no

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

we know  
u have nothing better to do than talk to us after all

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~so long and goodnight~ [looking for new friends]**

i hv hmwk  
i cud talk to regulus  
andy is round here somewhere yelling at mum  
she fell out with auntie and 4 sum reason she thought mum would be sympathetic  
she isn't

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

in other words u’ll be here all night

**[James Potter]**

ahahaha  
u got burned by wormtail

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

master of the burn

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~so long and goodnight~ [looking for new friends]**

fk off

**[James Potter]**

anyway pete sirius isn’t important

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~so long and goodnight~ [looking for new friends]**

i am th most important

**[James Potter]**

whats the new girls name  
and how do you know about her

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

mary is showing her round the next few days  
and lily. lily evans

**[James Potter]**

cool  
mary can introduce me in the form room tomorrow yeh?

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

yeh sure  
i mean mary said i couldn’t introduce her to sirius  
she didn’t say anything about you

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~so long and goodnight~ [looking for new friends]**

fkkkk offf alll off yoooooooouuuuuu  
i h8 u all  
moony stand up for me

**[James Potter]**

where is moony?

**[James Potter] has just sent a nudge!**

**peter - i luv mary xoxox has just sent a nudge!**

**[James Potter] has just sent a nudge!**

**☾ x-x remus lupin x-x ☾**

i’m doing my English essay  
like you all should be.  
do any of you even know what topic you’re doing it on?

**[James Potter]**

what r u doing urs on?

**☾ x-x remus lupin x-x ☾**

the symbolism in Lord of the Flies

**[James Potter]**

cool i’m doing that one 2

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

me 2

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~so long and goodnight~ [looking for new friends]**

and me

**☾ x-x remus lupin x-x ☾**

I’m not writing any of your essays for any of you. it’s cheating and it’s wrong, and I don’t have time this term.

**[James Potter]**

but i luv u remus  
u can have anything  
but not first try with the new girl

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

i luv u remus  
u da best

**☾ x-x remus lupin x-x ☾**

fine, you can have my notes. but I’m not showing you my final essay.

**[James Potter]**

woop!

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

yeh!

**☾ x-x remus lupin x-x ☾**

not Sirius, though.

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~so long and goodnight~ [looking for new friends]**

yyyyyyy do u all h8 meeeeeeee?  
what did i ever dooooo?

**☾ x-x remus lupin x-x ☾**

Sirius, the others at least made a vague attempt to be nice to me. you didn’t.

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~so long and goodnight~ [looking for new friends]**

bt im ur best friend

**☾ x-x remus lupin x-x ☾**

but as we’ve already discussed, I don’t even know why.  
and now I’m going to log off and do this essay or the rest of you won’t have any ideas to steal when you come to write yours the day before the deadline.  
see you all tomorrow bright and early in the form room.

**☾ x-x remus lupin x-x ☾ may not reply because he appears to be offline.**

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

i knew he'd do it

**[James Potter]**

yeh  
i g2g 2, got to do my hair before my big intro to lily tomorrow  
its going to be the start of something beautiful

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

u said that last time  
and the time before  
and the time before that

**[James Potter]**

wormy why don’t u believe in me?

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

i try, james, i try  
but there is only so many times i can believe in u before it makes me look stupid 2

**[James Potter]**

u r stupid

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

at least i have a girlfriend

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~so long and goodnight~ [looking for new friends]**

ahahahahahahahahaha  
prongs dat so tru

**[James Potter]**

u don’t either

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~so long and goodnight~ [looking for new friends]**

i’m off 2 talk 2 regulus

**[James Potter]**

and by that you mean irritate Regulus

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~so long and goodnight~ [looking for new friends]**

he looovvvesss me

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

really only cuz he's forced 2

**[James Potter]**

nite pete  
nite shitbag

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

nite james

**[James Potter] may not reply because he appears to be offline.**

**peter - i luv mary xoxox may not reply because he appears to be offline.**

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~so long and goodnight~ [looking for new friends]**

allllllll byyy myyyyself  
i h8 u all  
leaving me here  
mite actually have to talk to regulus  
oh lk i can still get on james msn


	2. Chapter 2

“Oh, come on, you know I’ve got footie after school.”

“Do you ever not have football after school?”

“If you were going to play for Liverpool, Petey, then you’d understand.”

“We’re going to be late,” said Remus, checking his watch. “I thought you wanted to make a good impression, James?”

“We’ve still got a minute until the bell goes,” said James, as the bell began to ring above their heads. “Bloody hell. Could they make that shit any louder?”

“Were you in the form room, it would be quieter. And detention would be far less likely.”

Their form tutor, the impressively named Professor McGonagall, was behind them. Of course she was. 

“Sorry, Professor,” said James, trying his best to look apologetic. “Didn’t see you there.”

“I gathered. Best get inside, if you’re intending to make a good impression on Miss Evans.”

“How did you -“

“I know more than you students give me credit for,” said McGonagall, as James took her advice and filed into the form room, Peter and Remus in his wake. “In you go, boys. I don’t suppose you ran into Mr Black in your travels?”

“Nope, sorry, Professor. He wasn’t on the bus.”

McGonagall didn’t bother with a response, instead flapping her hands at a group of straggling Year Sevens who belonged in the next classroom. James led the way to the back of the classroom, still trailed by Peter and Remus, to their usual desks. It wasn’t unusual for Sirius not to be on the bus - after all, his parents’ housekeeper often gave him a lift in - but that usually made him less likely to be late.

He was probably stuck in the same traffic the bus had been, James decided.

“Is that her?” he asked his friends, well, Remus, because Peter had already leant forwards in his seat to flirt with his girlfriend. James had scanned the room and identified the new girl in seconds. She was sat sandwiched in between Mary MacDonald and Marlene McKinnon in the row in front, quietly talking to Marlene with, by the looks of it, one eye on Professor McGonagall at the front. 

“How many new girls are there?” Remus asked. “Of course that’ll be her.”

“Where’s Sirius?” Peter asked, glancing up at the clock. A minute to nine. Missing the first bell meant you’d get glared at by McGonagall. Missing the second was a late mark, and Sirius had two of those already this month. 

But Sirius was old enough to look after himself, and James - James had the new girl to focus on. 

It wasn’t just that she was hot. There were plenty of hot girls at Hogwarts, and, without being arrogant, plenty of them were interested in going out with him. All the boys on the football team had plenty of interest from girls, even Sirius who - well, James had never seen Sirius act interested in a girl. He’d taken Marlene McKinnon to McDonalds to celebrate the end of Year 10, but, really, that’d only been because they’d all gone with a date, and Peter had got Mary to get one of her friends to go with Sirius. 

James had taken Annie Fletcher, who he’d then gone on several more dates with over the course of the summer holidays, and then who had brutally dumped him in front of the entire form room on the first day of Year 11. Not that he cared. She’d been more interested in her phone than she ever had been in him.

Thankfully, Annie wasn’t one of the girls now clustered around Lily Evans, who, on her second day in their form, was still surrounded by a gang of girls wanting to know, well, whatever it was girls discussed in their spare time. James sighed. Why did girls do everything in groups? Did they ever move alone? Peter had only ever managed to speak to Mary alone once he’d got Remus to ask her out for him.

James wondered if he could get Remus to ask Lily out for him.

“Gonna talk to her,” he muttered, as much to himself as anything else. 

“Do it then,” said Remus, flicking through his planner on the desk over from James. Peter, next to him, was frantically scribbling at the French homework due in next lesson. “Dare you.”

“Fuck off,” James said, before kicking back his chair and, stuffing his hands into his pockets in what he hoped was a cool way, wandering over to where Lily sat.

“Hey,” he said. “Have we got French next?”

“Are you talking to me?” Lily twisted in her seat to face him, her hair swishing over her shoulder as she moved. Up close, she was even more beautiful than he’d thought. Her eyes were green, greener than any he’d ever seen, and her face was like a doll or something, like it’d been perfectly made. 

“Yeah.” Fuck. Already, this didn’t seem to be going very well. He should have thought this through better, written it down, maybe. But who the hell read their chat-up lines off Remus’ revision notecards? The idiot who decided to lead with ‘hey, have we got French next?’ probably.

She raised an eyebrow in response. 

“How do you know if I’m taking French? Or even if we’d be in the same class? Also, your friend’s got his planner open, why didn’t you ask him?”

“His handwriting’s like a spider.”

“What?”

“Remus. I can’t read his handwriting.”

“Can he read his own handwriting?”

“Yes?” Probably, James should have cut his losses and left. Retained some sort of shred of his bloody dignity. But no. He decided to carry on, letting the words come out of his mouth like his brain had given up all hope entirely. “Well, most the time. Last year we were revising for Geography, and he couldn’t read any of it, none of us could, and, well, Peter had been off ill and he’s the only other one that really takes notes, so,” he said, beginning to trail off at the look on her face, which had gone from a raised eyebrow, through widened eyes, and now to a look of utter confusion, “but anyway, that isn’t important.”

“Also, the timetables are printed,” chimed in Mary, with a grin. “Alright, Potter? We’ve got French next, yeah. So’s Lily.”

Lily sighed at the same time James did, although hers was far more exasperated than James’.

“Thanks, Mary.”

“Yeah,” said James, trying to resist the urge to flatten down the bit of hair that definitely wasn’t doing what he’d tried to get it to do that morning. “Thanks, Mary. Er - “

“Mr Potter,” said Professor McGonagall, “back to your seat please, your social life will have to wait. Miss MacDonald, please sit on the chair, not the table, thank you very much. Mr Black - ah, you’ve finally decided to grace us with your presence. Find your seat, yes, thank you Mr Longbottom, fascinating as the Arsenal game was last night, it’s time for the register now.”

“Alright?” Sirius whispered, sliding into his chair at the same time as James reached their desk again. Honestly, James decided, McGonagall had done him a favour. He was only going to screw up whatever it was he was going to say next.

“Where were you?” Focus on that, he thought, not how embarrassing that whole interaction had been. 

“Ah, you know, Mum was bollocking me over nothing again. Something to do with losing my planner. I wasn’t listening.” Sirius prodded James in the arm. “What’ve you been up to, ey?"

“Chatting up the new girl,” Remus whispered, leaning over the gap between the two desks. “It went terribly, by the way.”

“Excellent,” said Sirius, tipping his chair back.

“Mr Black,” said Professor McGonagall, looking up from the register, “chairs have four legs. And Mr Lupin, kindly continue your social life at break, thank you.”

“Yes, Professor.” 

But Lily Evans looked at him. She definitely, when McGonagall was telling Sirius and Remus off, turned around in her chair and looked, not at them, but right at James and the bit of hair that was still bloody sticking up. And she grinned. That was it, he decided, he was going to cadge some hair gel off Peter or Sirius at the first available opportunity. Preferably before French.

It turned out she was in every single one of his classes that day. This, James decided, was fate. Not only was she the prettiest girl he’d ever seen, but she was in top sets, had actual opinions on the Russian Revolution that weren’t just parroting the textbook, and seemed to be able to use a bunsen burner without waving it in someone’s face or pissing around with the gas taps. In short, she was perfect.

“Shame she’s not interested in you,” said Sirius, who was, of course, incapable of not pissing around with the gas taps. James smacked him on the hand. It was like training a dog.

“She looked at me in the form room. When I wasn’t even talking.”

“Yeah,” said Sirius, trying now to tip backwards onto two legs of his stool, “and hasn’t spared you a glance since. Not to burst your bubble, mate, but I’m not sure this is going to be Romeo and Juliet.”

“Have you read Romeo and Juliet?” Remus asked, from the other side of the benches. 

“No. Why?”

“Because they both die at the end, you twit.”

“You’re a twit,” said Sirius.

“Your mum’s a twit,” said Peter.

“Lads,” said James, as Remus looked about to retort with something equally childish. “Sirius’ mum is definitely a twit, yes. Point noted. But, the bigger issue here is…”

“That Sirius should research his references before making them?”

“That Remus shouldn’t be a twit?”

“That all of us should pay attention to the teacher?”

“What? No, none of you are, oh, sorry Professor Slughorn.” 

James really should have spotted Slughorn coming. The man was almost the exact width of the not insignificant gap between the two rows of benches down the classroom, and always smelt softly of what James knew to be brandy. Exactly why he knew what brandy smelt like was certainly nothing to do with his mates and the stash of brandy in Peter’s mum’s cupboard, that was now probably 80% water. Slughorn’s usually cheerful face was now frowning down at James. James attempted to look as serious as possible, as Sirius’ stool slid out from underneath him with a screech and a crash.

“Potter,” he said. “Lupin. Pettigrew.” He glanced at the floor. “Black. Perhaps we could focus?”

“Certainly,” said Remus. “Absolutely. That’s what I was trying to encourage these idiots to do.”

James kicked Remus under the bench. By the feel of it, Peter had also done the same thing.

On the other side of the room, Lily Evans was looking at him again. James flattened his hair, and pretended he hadn’t seen her, instead offering Slughorn his best winning smile.

“Won’t happen again, Professor,” he said. “It was all Sirius’ fault, sir.”

“Obviously,” said Sirius, from the floor. 

“Let’s just have some improvement, boys,” said Slughorn, wandering off. 

James turned his attention back to Lily, as, beside him, Sirius scraped himself off the floor and Remus halfheartedly turned to their experiment. She’d turned back to Mary and the other girls, clustered around their bunsen burner doing whatever it was that they were supposed to be doing, probably. She’d tied her hair back for the Science lesson, and that, to him, was even more beautiful. She was gorgeous even without being able to see her face. He was going to talk to her after class, he decided. He was going to - well he had twenty minutes left of the lesson to work out what he was going to say, and it was going to be better than the mess in the form room.

“James?” said Sirius.

“What?”

Several things happened in quick succession that led to Peter’s sleeve being on fire, Sirius screaming, and both Slughorn and Lily Evans glaring at James. He wasn’t even entirely sure what those several things had been.

“Detention, boys,” said Slughorn. “Tomorrow lunchtime.”

“Bollocks,” said Peter.”

“And five house points each from Gryffindor.”

“Double bollocks,” muttered Sirius.

And at the end of the lesson, triple bollocks, Lily was gone by the time James had helped clear up the mess, arranged his detention, and managed to escape.

“Looking for someone?” Remus asked, swinging his bag over his shoulder.

“Aww,” said Sirius. “Jamsey’s in love.”

“Am not.”

“It’s like what’s her name, the woman on the cliffs. You know. Kate Bush.”

“Cathy and Heathcliff. He died, you know.”

“I only watched the first half of the film, Andy made me.”

“I’m going to marry her,” said James, over the sounds of Remus and Sirius arguing about Wuthering Heights.

“Do your GCSEs first, mate,” suggested Peter.

*****

**[James is a poohead]**

did anyone get Lily’s msn?

SIRIUS

SIRIUS TWATTING BLACK

you no longer get my signed Liverpool shirt when I die

plus your own death is now put forwards to this week

☾ **x-x remus lupin x-x** ☾

no.

also, that’s a very formal declaration of intent to murder.

are you now using your planner?

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~welcome to the black parade~**

ahahaha my middle name is orion acyally

a]

oops

u cant kill me, u can’t do maths

**[James Potter]**

remus will do my maths

☾ **x-x remus lupin x-x** ☾

oh will I now?

I fully support putting sirius in his place, but I’m not willing to be an accessory to murder, or do any extra calculus.

**[James Potter]**

we’re supposed to be friends

☾ **x-x remus lupin x-x** ☾

friends don’t make friends do extra calculus.

**[James Potter]**

and if mum asks, then yes, of course I’m using my planner

it may have been lightly on fire yesterday

but personally i think that’s irrelevant 

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~welcome to the black parade~**

i wasnt involved

no sirius there]

none

☾ **x-x remus lupin x-x** ☾

*sighs*

where’s Pete?

**[James Potter]**

taken mary to pizza hut

v romantic

maybe lily likes pizza hut?

☾ **x-x remus lupin x-x** ☾

*sighs*

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~welcome to the black parade~**

i cn b romantic

u no

☾ **x-x remus lupin x-x** ☾

literally nobody said you couldn’t be. 

in fact, literally nobody was talking about you at all.

**[James Potter]**

u see where this is going, remus?

☾ **x-x remus lupin x-x** ☾

yes. yes I do.

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~welcome to the black parade~**

do u think they snog?

**[James Potter]**

SIRIUS NO

we discussed this

nobody speculates on whether anyone else snogs

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~welcome to the black parade~**

th gurls do

**[James Potter]**

thats girls

we are men

☾ **x-x remus lupin x-x** ☾

that probably depends on your definition of men. none of us are actually adults.

**[James Potter]**

pfffft

ANYWAY

back to it boys

who got lily’s msn?

☾ **x-x remus lupin x-x** ☾

if you’re going to continue this ridiculous charade, which, clearly, you are, then Mary’s probably your best bet.

**[James Potter]**

cool

brb

hang on she’s on a date with pete

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~welcome to the black parade~**

just ask her

lily tht is

☾ **x-x remus lupin x-x** ☾

loathe as I am to admit it, Sirius has a point. just ask Lily for her msn.

**[James Potter]**

jgkhgljfljfjk

what

k.jgk.jhlih

no

☾ **x-x remus lupin x-x** ☾

why not? it isn’t like she’ll eat you.

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~welcome to the black parade~**

welllllll

☾ **x-x remus lupin x-x** ☾

NO SIRIUS

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~welcome to the black parade~**

fine

**[James Potter]**

o look pete’s online, gonna see if he can get mary to ask lily for her msn

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~welcome to the black parade~**

u meen ask how his date wnt

**[James Potter]**

obvs

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~welcome to the black parade~**

and u say im the insensitve 1

**[James Potter]**

hey petey boy

how was the pizza?

mary good?

all well in pete-land?

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

good

yes

yes

and no, i’m not giving any of you the new girls msn addy

**[James Potter]**

i’m offended

so offended

that isn’t what i was here for

also good good haha

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

yeh rite

**[James Potter]**

excuse me, i care about you and your dates very much

oops

sorry, g2g, mums calling

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

hmmm

**[James Potter]**

hey mary

**~*~ mary louise ~*~ ((** **♡** **peter))**

no

not a chance potter

**[James Potter]**

u don’t even know what i’m asking

**~*~ mary louise ~*~ ((** **♡** **peter))**

ahh but i do

its her decision who she gives her addy to not mine

so ask her if u want it

**[James Potter]**

can’t u just

i dunno

**~*~ mary louise ~*~ ((** **♡** **peter))**

no

sorry potter

not tht i don’t like you but girl code, yeah?

**[James Potter]**

yeah

hope ur date went well with pete

**~*~ mary louise ~*~ ((** **♡** **peter))**

**♡**


	3. Chapter 3

**[James Potter]**

it’s been a week

lads

a week

☾ **x-x remus lupin x-x** ☾

a week what? since you did any homework?

**[James Potter]**

no

reeeeeemmmmuusss

u know

☾ **x-x remus lupin x-x** ☾

if you want me to do my homework quickly enough for you to borrow it, i don’t have time to keep up with your dramas.

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

put the boy outa his misery remus

ur bein mean

also i feel ur getting obsessed wit hw

☾ **x-x remus lupin x-x** ☾

fine

for you, pete, not for mr pathetic

also, GCSEs

[James Potter]

GCSEs dont matter

i’m in love with her 

she is the rest of my life

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

even i no theres loads wrong with that

☾ **x-x remus lupin x-x** ☾

do you want to explain it, pete, or shall I?

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

o u can

i wanna watch

☾ **x-x remus lupin x-x** ☾

ok

so a), james, GCSEs do matter

b) Lily cares about GCSEs, I heard her telling Mary she was worried in the lunch queue

c) do you think you’ll have a rest of your life if you fail your GCSEs, or do you think your mum will kill you?

d) the more pathetic you are, the less likely she is to go out with you

e) GCSEs do matter, because otherwise you’ll be unemployable, have no girlfriend, and have your mum after you.

f) just like I told Marlene last week, nobody should stake their life happiness on a worthless man

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

er remus?

maybe review that last one

☾ **x-x remus lupin x-x** ☾

yeah, good catch

f) nobody should stake their life happiness on a romantic relationship with anybody, of any gender

**[James Potter]**

lily cares about gcses?

☾ **x-x remus lupin x-x** ☾

okay, that’s what you take from that?

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

you predicted something else?

☾ **x-x remus lupin x-x** ☾

I predicted, well, okay

you win, Pete

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

yesssss

5 points to meeeee

in other news

where’s sirius?

☾ **x-x remus lupin x-x** ☾

oh, not sure.

hang on, I’ll call him

he said he’d be online when he got home

back in a minute

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

u cud just say brb like the rest of us

james? where u gone?

**[James Potter]**

i’m doing maths hw

what did you think i was doing?

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

i dunno

playin fifa?

not maths hw anyway

**[James Potter]**

i’m shocked

shocked and appalled

shocked how little you think of me

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

lily cares about gcses

**[James Potter]**

I CARE, PETER, I CARE

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

u no caps lock is shouting, yes?

u should

amount of times remus tells sirius that

☾ **x-x remus lupin x-x** ☾

back

he didn’t answer

still

he usually turns up

oh hang on, mum’s shouting, she wants the computer for work, sorry guys

**[James Potter]**

gonna finish my maths

who’s gonna impress Lily now?

me

with my flawless application of the quadratic formula

fuck

sixteen questions

why flitwick why

bye guys

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

no point staying here by myself is there?

“Hey.” James was going for effortlessly casual when he entered the form room, something which was slightly ruined by, in the background, Mary squealing and throwing herself at Peter. This caused a reorganisation of seats, for some reason, with Mary squashing up next to Peter, Sirius grabbing the empty seat by Remus, because once again he was acting like he was allergic to sitting next to a girl, and Marlene and Dorcas staying put. That left the seat next to Lily. Maybe Sirius wasn’t allergic to sitting next to girls. Maybe he was trying to help James.

Or wanted to watch James crash and burn, which was also possible.

Probably more likely, in fact.

“Hey.” Lily didn’t sound exactly impressed that she was sitting next to James, but it wasn’t ‘get out’, so James was going to call this a success. “Why have we all changed seats?”

“Dunno.” He dropped his bag to the floor, which hit the ground with a flump that sounded like his sandwiches being squashed by his water bottle, and sat down. “Mary and Peter struggle to be apart for more than twelve hours.” He shrugged, as if to say that he didn’t get it. Except he understood exactly what it felt like to think about a girl constantly.

“Alright.” Lily pulled her planned out from her bag. “Have we got French first?”

That was the exact same question he’d asked her, last Tuesday.

“Yeah,” he said, not even entirely sure he’d brought his planner, but having the impulse to look at it all the same. “Think so.”

“Ah,” she said, with a slight grin. “So you know this week, do you?”

Oh fuck. Was she flirting? James resisted the temptation to look to one of his friend for advice; Peter would be busy doing whatever with Mary, Sirius would be no fucking use, and Remus would laugh. Why were girls so supportive of each other’s romantic issues, and his mates just took the mick?

“I listen,” he said, which definitely wasn’t flirting. Bloody hell. He had no idea what he was doing. “Er - did you do the maths homework yet? I finished mine last night.”

What a chat-up line. What a pro.

Lily raised her eyebrows in a way that clearly meant ‘really? you ask me that?’.

“I did,” she said. “Wasn’t sure about question fifteen, though, what did you get for that?”

“Oh, I dunno, hang on a minute.” James hauled his bag up onto the desk and tried to find the homework, removing the drink bottle, a French dictionary, the pencil case he’d borrowed off Remus last week, and his very much squashed sandwiches. 

“What are they?” Lily asked, pointing at the sandwiches.

“What?” James looked up. “They’re, well, they were, my lunch. Veggie sausages. They’re not looking so great right now, but they’ll be fine, I reckon. I’m veggie, see, and the canteen food is awful for veggies.”

“Oh, really? I’m vegetarian too! The canteen food’s terrible, isn’t it? I thought it was a mistake that the veggie option was macaroni cheese four days of last week.”

“It isn’t,” said James. “It’s just that bad.” This was it, he decided. His prime moment to strike, all over some Linda McCartney sausages. “Wait until they do the pizza. You can actually see the grease on it.”

“Sounds disgusting.” Lily wrinkled her nose. “How long have you been veggie? I started last year, do you know where your mum bought the sausages? Mum’s not really interested in dragging around the shops to find them, but if I told her where they were she might go.”

“Dunno,” said James. “Tesco I think. I’ll check with mum.” His homework, predictably, was nowhere to be found, but they’d moved on from that, so James started to stuff his belongings back away again. “And since I was born, really, Mum and Dad have always been. They gave me the option to try meat, so I think I had a cocktail sausage at a party once or twice as a kid, but I prefer being veggie, really.”

In the corner of his eye, James saw Sirius lean over the table, and Remus grab him by the collar of his polo shirt to pull him back. Thankfully. Whatever Sirius was going to say was going to be unhelpful, and probably an innuendo about sausages.

“Anyway,” he said, once he was certain Sirius had been pulled back to his own desk, “why don’t you write down your number or MSN addy or something, and I can ask Mum where she got them from and message you.” He grabbed a piece of paper from one of his notebooks that didn’t look like it had anything weird on it, just one of Sirius drawings, and passed it to her. He hoped she had her own pen.

“Alright,” she said, eyeing him up and down. She took out a pencil case, yellow and fluffy, and pulled out a pen, which was covered in glitter. “Don’t,” she said, as she saw him stare at them. “Here you are.” She handed back the piece of paper, with the prize.

_lilyflamingoxx@hotmail.com_

“Thanks,” he said, trying to act like this wasn’t the biggest thing that’d happened so far this term. “I’l ask Mum tonight.” 

“Thanks,” she smiled.

Professor McGonagall called the form to take the register, and, once he was certain Lily was focused on what the teacher was up to, James let the soppy grin take over.

**[James Potter]**

boys

it is done

i got it

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

wot? 

detention?

☾ **x-x remus lupin x-x** ☾

my pencil case back from the bogs? because I don’t want it, thanks.

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~this is who i really am inside~**

an sti?

**[James Potter]**

no!  
also no, sorry remus

and fuck off sirius

☾ **x-x remus lupin x-x** ☾

just, I don’t know

you can pay me back in never touching any of my pencil cases again.

**[James Potter]**

k

anyway

i got it!!!!!!!!

☾ **x-x remus lupin x-x** ☾

we still don’t know what it is.

**[James Potter]**

lily’s msn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

☾ **x-x remus lupin x-x** ☾

well done

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

yay!

*high five*

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~this is who i really am inside~**

if u got it y u no tell us at schl>

☾ **x-x remus lupin x-x** ☾

Sirius, learn to type.

also, he wanted to check it wasn’t fake first

**[James Potter]**

i didnt think it was fake

why would i think that?

☾ **x-x remus lupin x-x** ☾

well, I stand by what I said.

**[James Potter]**

she accepted my add request

so

☾ **x-x remus lupin x-x** ☾

you haven’t messaged her yet, have you?

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~this is who i really am inside~**

awwwwww

jameseys sacred

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

don’t give his ego any more to go on

**[James Potter]**

no, sirius is right, i am

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~this is who i really am inside~**

go awaayyyy i meant scared

u bully me

all of u

**[James Potter]**

not that i have yet messaged her

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~this is who i really am inside~**

seeeee?

**[James Potter]**

what do i say???

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

just be yourself! worked for me and mary 

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~this is who i really am inside~**

woteva u do don’t be urself

**[James Potter]**

thanks guys

for nothing

brb

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

aww, little james is growing up

☾ **x-x remus lupin x-x** ☾

is it terrible that i want to be in the conversation?

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

if it is then were all terrible ppl

**[James Potter]**

hey

**lilyliketheflower** ✿✿✿

hey

**[James Potter]**

u good?

**lilyliketheflower** ✿✿✿

yes :)

just finishing off my english essay

you?

**[James Potter]**

good good, yes, also doing english essay

whats your topic?

**lilyliketheflower** ✿✿✿

symbolism in Lord of the Flies

you?

**[James Potter]**

me too!

**lilyliketheflower** ✿✿✿

oh cool :)

such an interesting topic don’t you think?

**[James Potter]**

yeah

does make me worry though

like how quickly could our school fall to that level?

**lilyliketheflower** ✿✿✿

best not to think about it!

**[James Potter]**

yeah true

hey

mum said she got the sausages from tesco, btw, but the sainsburys on queensway does a better selection of quorn, if you’re interested

**lilyliketheflower** ✿✿✿

yay thanks!

nice knowing another veggie :)

none of my friends at my old school were, they didn’t really get it

anyway, i’d better try and get through some more of this essay, petunia’s got a boyfriend coming round for tea later and apparently i have to meet him

**[James Potter]**

petunia?

**lilyliketheflower** ✿✿✿

my older sister, she’s in year 13

anyway, nice chatting to you james! see you in form room i guess?

**[James Potter]**

yes

nice chatting

see you in the morning

**lilyliketheflower** ✿✿✿ **may not reply because she appears to be offline**

**[James Potter]**

SHE SAID SHE LIKED CHATTING TO ME

AND THAT SHE WOULD SEE ME TOMORROW

AND SHE SAYS NONE OF HER FRIENDS IN HER OTHER SCHOOL WERE VEGETARIAN

DOES THAT MEAN SHE IS MY FRIEND?

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

james

caps lock is shouting on the internet

**[James Potter]**

I KNOW

I AM SHOUTING

WITH JOY

**peter - i luv mary xoxox**

yay?

**\\\//sirius\\\// ~this is who i really am inside~**

nt yay

stop encouraging hum pete

hes bad enuf without ir

☾ **x-x remus lupin x-x** ☾

well done James.

congratulations.

when shall we book the wedding?

**[James Potter]**

oh f off

going to share my joy with someone who cares

the cat

☾ **x-x remus lupin x-x** ☾

i’ll book it for next summer.

if that’s not supportive, i don’t know what is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For any American readers, GCSEs are the exams British teenagers take at the end of Year 11 (equivalent to 5th year in HP universe), aged 16.


End file.
